You know in the movies were the main guy has a friend whose a girl, who clearly has a crush on him, yet he abandons her to go with the popular crowd. But then by the end of the movie he realizes he loved her all along? I really want there to be a movie where the girl is like ‘no, you were acting like a dick. I’m not interested anymore’. Basically what I’m saying is that LAYLA FROM SKY HIGH SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH WARREN PEACE
Your average pineapple, peeled and cut makes about 4.5 cups or 36 ounces of pineapple chunks. Cans of pineapple come in a variety of sizes the most common being 20oz and 46oz. Meaning a single pineapple generally won’t fill up a single can perfectly, wich also means everytime u eat pineapple from a can somewhere someone else has the can that has the rest of that same pineapple. Meaning u can share a single fruit with a stranger from hundreds of miles away and I think that’s beutiful
How much sleep are you getting?
Not enough my guy
me [calling mall security]: check your security cameras right now
mall security: there’s a guy doing squats, but I don’t see much-
me: yea that’s me, critique my form
shoutout to people with simultaneously great and terrible memories. like oh yeah i remember in perfect detail that random story you told about the banana costume from a year ago but all of novemeber? completely blank.
yall complain about ad targeting but then reblog weird ass memes like bode and here come dat boi and then mutate jokes until they’re completely unrecognizable “oh yeah why the fuck would tumblr think i wanted to see an ad for amish clickbait articles” because your interests make no sense, pal
“what could we sell to the kids this month? what are they into?”
“i literally have no fucking clue, jim.”
Eggs: Ovulated
Uterus: Fluffed
Sperm: Nonexistent
my lining is forcibly removed from my uterine walls
